First off I'll have to admit that I do not plan to continue to blog the gratitude challenge just because I know it'll be an empty promise. At some point I'll have to figure it out myself for all the things I'm grateful for and to continue to remind myself that God always provides.
Tonight was one of those nights that shakes my faith in another person. I realize and have experienced negative things with EVERY person that I've come to known as a friend. I accept those negative traits as just part of who they are and in general, I believe that my friends are good people. Honestly, I believe that all people are good people in the eyes of someone and I just happen to not be friends with them due to personality differences or maybe because they are no where near me. In the eyes of God, who sees our vast amount of sins and still loves us and sent His son to die for us. There has got to be a reason why we are saved.
But what happens when there is a revelation that someone who is one of your close friends is actually not who you thought they were? That behind that smile, there is something sinister - a purpose for being friends with you planning to someday use you. That actions and words don't match at all! Is it possible that having seen that person struggle through so much pain, given up so much for other people, seen that person battling constantly inside themselves and expressing to you their weaknesses - can that person be someone entirely different? I've always wondered how some people can end up marrying a cheating b*st*rd and not realize it until 20 years later. How can you be so close, yet so far? Fools. That's how I feel like right now. A big fool.
But what am I supposed to do? With my personality, faking things is more difficult than just duking it out and end up on bad terms. At least there's still truth in a scream fest. What's the point of putting on a smile and putting effort into something you don't believe in? At this moment, the only reason why I can't demand the truth is because of a different person. It's like shoving me in a crack in the cement while I get poo smeared on my face from both sides and just take it.
God please give me wisdom and give me eyes to see the truth - the full truth.
Awwwe that's tough Elena. And you probably can't even trust that person anymore if you do demand the truth. That's so scary that somebody could be so false to such a degree. I know this is a little late to have caught up on this read, but I hope that you may be blessed with a peaceful heart, and that God may protect you from that person.
ReplyDeleteThanks Selena
ReplyDeleteAs you can see I don't log on here much either but I appreciate your thoughts =)